


love's labour's lost

by Anonymous



Category: Buzzfeed The Try Guys (Web Series)
Genre: M/M, Repressed Feelings, Space AU, mentions of homophobia and violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 12:11:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15930170
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: He looks like he belongs in these photos; white  average-looking dude; a bit nerdy but the bruised nose tells a different story. He grins at Eugene now, like he grinned with the blood running over his face, high from adrenaline and teeth stained red.„Suit looks good on ya,“ Ned says.. or Ned and Eugene have to fly into space to talk about their feelings.





	love's labour's lost

**Author's Note:**

> idek at this point-  
> also i did hardly any research for this. since when does the space station exist? how many people are up there? who knows!!! i don't!!! artistic liberty! (i did google when Armstrong landed on the moon. 1969. see i know one thing.)

He looks like he belongs in these photos; white average-looking dude; a bit nerdy but the bruised nose tells a different story. He grins at Eugene now, like he grinned with the blood running over his face, high from adrenaline and teeth stained red.

„Suit looks good on ya,“ Ned says.

Eugene knows it is a lie, it is bulky and bright orange for fucks sake. He is aware that Ned probably means something else, something about how this suit is a symbol for their achievements and how far they have come. And it is an incredible achievement, Eugene is still in the process of realizing that they made it through all the tests and countless hours of training. Not only is it a personal win but also on a bigger scale. He is the first Korean-American to be shot into orbit. It is the seventies and everything seems possible after Armstrong walked the moon; but Eugene still feels slightly out of place beside his all-white colleagues.

They are a crew of four now, he trained with Ned in Texas since both of them started at NASA. The other guys are from a base further north; one scrawny man who looks like he has at least asthma if not then other problems that should have kept him from passing the physical tests. The other is tall and loud, an easy smile and quick to laugh. They introduced themselves as Zach and Keith.

Ned jokes around. They should not be intimidated by Eugene, he barks but does not bite. Eugene stares holes in the back of Ned's head while he exchanges pleasantries with their new colleagues. They all look decidedly stupid gesturing wildly and excited in their space suits. They are not even in the air yet, damnit, they could laugh around when they made it through the start without going up in flames.

Some intern shoos them to the side of the room where the photo shoot is set up. On Ned's turn he grins past the camera at Eugene, giddy energy and pride squaring his shoulders. In the group photo Eugene stands in the background, face stoic.

They go out for drinks this evening. They are in the main offices in D.C. For the official business. There is a lot of photo taking and press conferences. Eugene does not mind it, enjoys the attention even. Something that he has not gotten used to yet are the women, sometimes even girls, waiting for them at events or recognizing them on the street. Talking to them and their clear intentions comes easier to Ned, though he never takes them up on their offers as far as Eugene can tell.

“You still have to tell us that story,” Zach says and motions to Ned's nose.

They are sitting in a darkly-lit bar, everyone still in their Sunday's best from the last interview but now with loosened ties and opened collars.

“I broke it,” Ned says, a twinkle in his eyes like he is proud of it.

“Yeah, how did that happen,” Zach keeps asking.

“I fell. I was drunk out of my mind, you know how it is.”

“I bet you got into a fight,” Keith says eager, who in spite of his imposing height looks like he has never been in a fight in his life.

Ned smiles at Eugene, one of those rare heartfelt ones that they only seem to find between beer and exhaustion. “Maybe a fight.”

They catch a cab back to the NASA buildings where they are staying. Eugene and Ned share a room, it is sparse and functional, not unlike the room they shared in training. Eugene is a bit more drunk than he had anticipated; he finds himself leaning against Ned as they stumble through the door.

“What I wanted to say,” Eugene says as he sits on his bed. “Thanks. For. You know.”

Ned pauses in front of the small sink in one corner. He catches Eugene eyes in the mirror. There is consideration on Ned's face. “Don't mention it, man.” He returns his focus on his own face in the mirror. “Looks kinda cool anyway,” He says carefully touching his fingers to his nose.

“Real cool,” Eugene sighs. He falls back on his bed, closing his eyes. Everything is spinning, not only his drunken mind. This was not about Ned getting into a fight and getting his nose broken for Eugene. This was about the reason for the fight. And that Ned keeps picking Eugene's side not matter what Eugene throws at him, even this.

“I'm so glad we're in this together,” Ned says after they have turned the lights off.

“Me, too,” Eugene replies quietly.

It is time for the last preparations and the new crew drives down to Florida. Ned's excitement cannot be contained. He tells them over and over again that they are starting from the best part of the world. How much of that is truth and how much nerves and homesickness is unclear.

They do not talk about everything that could go wrong. It is just not done. This is a new dawn for humankind, you do not think about the casualties. Eugene does not trust machines, he hardly trusts anyone but himself. When they are strapped into their seats, sitting on gallons of gasoline and scrap metal, Eugene thinks about the eyes of his mother. He thinks about the tough love of his sisters. He thinks about Ned. He does not think the time they first met or about Ned's hands on his shoulders and eyes somewhere south of Eugene's eyes. He does not even think about the obscene amount of freckles on that man's face. He thinks about a day this last summer. It had been hot even for Texas. They spend their days training and learning for the last tests. It was a dull exhausting time. But in the evening the two of them would sneak away to drive bikes to a near lake, more of a pond. They would wash away the day's sweat and lounge around in the grass talking about their future. Ned would wear white shirts tucked into his pants and get sunburned immediately. So Eugene thinks about Ned blinking into the setting sun, a smile for days on his face, just for Eugene.

Eugene thinks he passes out two times. When they have reached orbit Ned is crying next to him. Eugene reaches out to him but there is no possibility of touch through the thick layers of the space suit.

They reach the space station intact. There is a Ukrainian guy who introduces himself by pointing to the name tag on his shirt. They already know who he is, Andrew Ilnyckyj. He has been up here on his own for two days while the rest of the crew changed. It seems like he already gotten used to the solitary life because it does not take long before he floats off to his own corner, studying some tables and papers. Eugene already likes him. Zach and Ned are somersaulting through the air while Keith is holding is head. Apparently he tried to somersault and hit his head. Eugene sighs.

Time passes. It still chokes Eugene up to see the earth. He sits at their largest window and watches the sun rise behind the blue planet again and again. He has never felt a sense of belonging like this. It scares him the way anything that threatens to tie him down scares him.

One of those mornings Ned joins him at the window. They watch in silent for a long time.

“There is this girl down in my hometown,” Ned says finally as they drift over the Pacific Ocean. “I think I'll ask her to marry me when we're back.”

“You think she'll say yes,” Eugene asks.

“I don't know,” Ned says and shrugs with a helpless grin.

The sun hits the space station now, blinding Eugene momentarily.

“I wanted to kiss you that night,” Ned says quietly.

Eugene knows this. Somehow it still takes his breath away. To hear Ned admit it. Ned's hand is on his shoulder now like it was that night. They were drunk, stumbling and laughing, relying on each other as support as they left a seedy bar somewhere near their base. Ned had stopped them and turned Eugene towards him with his hands on his shoulders. Time had felt slow and thick. Ned knew about Eugene's tendencies but never commented on them. Eugene always thought he had just gotten a good friend for once. He didn't suspect that Ned might be interested in those tendencies.

That night he had grinned, bright and young, swaying closer with every breath, focused only on Eugene's lips.

Until a call tore them apart. A group of men on the other side of the street. Ned got angry the way he does. The men kept yelling slurs at them while Ned slipped out of Eugene's grip. The next thing Eugene knew was that Ned was on the other side of the street and two of the men where stumbling. Eugene was frozen in place as Ned got his nose broken for the second time in his life and the last guy left cursing and holding his wrist.

Ned was grinning like he won the fight.

Eugene looks at Ned in the here and now. He is not grinning now but looking rather wistful.

“What am I supposed to do with that knowledge,” Eugene asks finally.

Ned shrugs again. “I don't know. Just didn't want it to stand between us because it wasn't said.”

Eugene swallows hard around Ned's honest words. Honesty never suited Eugene. He might have never said one forthright thing in his life. He feels anger boiling up inside his gut, for the moment that was taken from them, young, stupid, drunk and happy. Now he feels a thousand years older and he can feel Ned slipping away out of his reach.

There is hardly any privacy in the small rooms that make up their current home but right now everyone else is at least around a corner; so Eugene takes heart to do let honesty speak for once.

He pulls Ned closer, pulling at his shirt until they are face to face. He wishes he could push Ned against a wall but that is hard without gravity. But Ned understands him without the dramatics. He smiles true and warm and runs his hand through Eugene's hair. They meet for a soft kiss; and Eugene melts into it, maybe showing more than he wanted to.

“You really don't make it easy on me,” Ned murmurs into Eugene's mouth.

And if that is all he can do, Eugene is going to keep doing it.

 


End file.
